Paintball: Pure Fun or Pure Torture?
by we are Romantic
Summary: The Naruto Cast are in a paintball fight. Girls vs. Boys. When the boys start to fail miserably, Shikamaru comes up with a brilliant plan. Putting Sasuke's life in absolute danger. What will happen? Who wins?


**Author's note: **

Yes, there will be some nudity in here. BUT DO NOT FEAR. (: I DIDN'T get into details. So if you are weak minded, you don't have to worry. And there are really no pairs implied, so yeah. And I also apologize for mentioning each and every character in here. EEK, I ALMOST FORGOT. They swear a lot in here...

* * *

**_Paintball: Pure Fun or Pure Torture?_**

_this story was brought to you by_: r y u s s e i

"No. I am not going." He folded his arms defiantly.

"Aww come on, asshole! Do it, for me?" His teammate's pathetic pouty face made him frown more. Only girls could pull that off. Strike that; only _pretty_ girls could do that.

"No." He was glaring by now.

"Please, Sasuke-kun? It'll be fun!" Eager eyes looked at him. He hated eager. Eager anything annoyed him to no extent.

"_Fun_? Running around with guns and paint pebbles instead of bullets trying to shoot each other is your version of _fun_?" He scoffed.

"Oh, please!"

"It's no use, Sakura-chan. Let's go. Sasuke is too much of a weakling to participate anyways." The blond ninja grabbed Sakura's arm and started walking in the opposite direction.

"I. Am. Not. Weak." Sasuke spoke in a clipped, cold tone. A smug smile spread across Naruto's face as he turned around to face Sasuke again.

Bingo.

Naruto spun around on his heel, Sakura slapping his hand off her arm. "Ookaay then…" Sasuke narrowed his eyes. "LET'S GO!"

As Naruto grabbed Sakura's arm yet again and ran off, Sasuke narrowed his eyes further.

_He planned that, didn't he?_

--

"You are a fucking idiot for dragging me here," Sasuke said short of breath. He gripped the paintball gun tightly and looked over his shoulder. A paintball came flying at his face and he quickly looked away. It splattered with almost shattering impact on the wall behind him. He heard a squeal from the opposite side.

"I almost got Sasuke-kun!" It was Ino's voice. She squealed. With delight or with horror, they would never know.

"Hey, you agreed to come!" Naruto said through gritted teeth. He was already hit three times.

"Dipshit."

"Fuckface."

"Hey, guys! Don't lose your grip yet. Okay," Shikamaru said as he ran his hands through his hair. "I got a plan."

"The plan is to cower in fear while all the girls come after us."

"Shut up, dipshit, he's talking."

"Why don't you shut up?"

"Because people actually _like_ my voice. No one wants to hear an ass braying."

"_Guys_! What about the plan?"

"Right, go ahead, Shikamaru!" Rock Lee cheered.

"Well what we have to do first…"

--

"I got Chouji five times," TenTen laughed. She reloaded her gun.

"That's because all he did was sit and eat chips behind that wall!" Ino giggled. "I swear, he's going to drop dead from a heart attack from all the junk he eats!" All the girls laughed besides Temari.

"Temari, you must be really into this," Sakura commented as she glanced at Temari, who was scanning the surrounding area.

"Yeah, I know. We're lucky Gaara or Kankuro didn't come. We would have been screwed."

"Why would we…?"

"Shh.." She warned. Temari held up two gloved fingers and pointed to the left. She did several SWAT team symbols and all the girls nodded. "Ready?" The girls nodded again. "Disperse!"

--  
"…You got that, Naruto?"

"Crystal clear, man," Naruto snickered and threw a smug look at Sasuke. "Great plan."

"It is NOT a great plan! I am _not _going to do that," Sasuke said icily. "I will get killed."

"It's the only way to win this." Shikamaru said it as if it were a matter of life or death. But then again, in Sasuke's case, it was.

"I agree with Shikamaru," Neji said. Although his face was expressionless, Sasuke could just tell he was snickering on the inside.

"Shh! I hear them coming!" Naruto hissed. He smiled at Sasuke. "Are you ready?" His grin irritated the hell out of Sasuke. Sasuke resisted the urge to punch that stupid smile of Naruto's face.

"Fuck you," Sasuke said as he threw his gun at Naruto. The rest of the guys saluted Sasuke as he walked off towards the girls alone.

_If I die, Naruto is getting _nothing _in my will._

--

"Someone is approaching…" TenTen said excitedly.

"Sakura, go check out who (or what) it is," Temari checked her ammunition and pointed straight ahead. "Make sure to give the signal if you need help." Sakura nodded and left, holding onto her gun and adjusting her vest.

"Honestly, those boys are so _stupid_ to all hide in one spot," Ino said exasperated. "I thought Shikamaru was smarter than that!"

--

Sakura walked slowly, feeling quite alone and on edge without the rest of her team. It got darker as she went between more and more walls. Sakura ran her fingers along the sides to keep from going to a dead end. She suddenly tripped over something and fell with a thud.

"Ugh…" Sakura grunted as she rubbed her knee. Sakura blinked and adjusted her eyes to the darkness. She realized what she had tripped over. It was an armor vest. It belonged to one of the guys. She looked ahead and saw more items strewn on the floor. A t-shirt, a belt, _pants_… Sakura's breathing became louder. She nearly screamed when she saw the boxers sitting in the middle of the dark corridor.

A guy was running around here. Stark naked. Who could it be? Sakura tried to see what color the shirt was but it was still too dark to see. Sakura got up and continued walking, the shirt in her hand. Finally, the lighting got better and Sakura looked down to see what color the shirt was. Black.

The same colored shirt Sasuke was wearing. Sakura walked faster.

She heard footsteps. She walked even faster.

Sakura turned the corner and gasped. There was Sasuke, sitting against the wall, naked.

"S-Sasuke-k-kun…" Sakura breathed. Sasuke looked up, his face showing surprise for a brief moment.

"Sakura." He seemed absolutely at ease in the next second, leaning back, his arms covering the part Sakura wanted to see the most.

"W-What are you doing?"

"Relaxing." Sasuke mentally slapped himself for saying such a foolish thing.

"Relaxing? Where are the rest of the guys?" Sakura never realized how pale Sasuke was.

"I don't know." It Sasuke had been fully dressed, Sakura would have been a little suspicious. But he wasn't, and oh lord did his abs look great.

"Oh.. well.." Sakura's cell phone buzzed in her pocket. She looked apologetically at Sasuke, totally uninterested. She picked up her cell phone. "Hello?"

"Sakura! Where are you?" It was Ino.

"Um, I-I'm looking for them."

"Well, we're coming after you."

"N-No! Don't do that! I've got it under control!" Sasuke raised an eyebrow and shifted his position against the wall. It was damn cold without his clothes. He was going to beat the shit out of Shikamaru after this.

"Too late. We've sent TenTen after you. She should be coming soon."

"Oh."

"Bye, then!" Ino said cheerily. Sakura ended the call and put the phone back in her pocket.

"Who was it?" Sasuke asked. His voice sounded so sexy when he was uninterested.

"My mom." Sakura cringed instantly. _My mom_? How lame could you get!?

"Oh."

A weird silence spread and Sasuke stared piercingly into Sakura's eyes. They stared at each other for quite a while until…

"…Sakura? Where are you? You wouldn't believe what I found!" It was TenTen. Her voice sounded distant. But she wasn't too far away.

"H-Here." Sakura said shakily, never taking her eyes off Sasuke.

Damn. Private naked Sasuke time was going to be over soon.

"…It's a pair of p-.." TenTen stopped her sentence short when she turned the corner. "Holy fucking SH—."

--

"There's our cue! Go girls, go!" Temari cried and the all the girls came rushing after TenTen and Sakura.

--

"S-Sasuke… What are you doing?!" TenTen tried to look baffled, but all you could see was the admiration of her eyes on his body. TenTen gripped her gun. She threw a look at Sakura. She saw Sasuke's black shirt still in Sakura's hand. "What is that?"

"U-um.. I-It was on the ground, I swear!" Sakura blushed furiously and dropped the t-shirt. Sasuke's lips twitched into a smirk. "I think I hear the rest of our team coming…"

Sasuke's smirk instantly fell. _Oh shit._

In a matter of minutes, the rest of the girls came running around the corner.

--

"This is hilarious," Naruto whispered.

"Shut up, you'll blow our cover!" Shikamaru hissed.

"I must admit, however, that this is quite hilarious on our part. But what about poor Sasuke-kun?" Rock Lee crouched and looked at Naruto, who was still grinning.

"Who gives a fuck?"

--

"S-Sasuke-kun…"

"Ooh…"

"W-What's g-going o-on?"

"Daaaammmnnn…"

A series of reactions rippled through the mob of girls as they all held on to their guns.

Sasuke was going to KILL the guys when this was over.

"Why are you naked?" Temari demanded, trying to be expressionless as possible. She was miserably failing.

"I didn't want to participate in this foolish competition."

"So you need to take off all your clothes?" She eyed him with curiosity.

"Yes," Sasuke said as he stood up and held up one hand (his other hand covered his privates). He put his hand into a jutsu sign and disappeared in a puff of smoke. All the girls gasped.

"It's a trap! It's a trap! Disperse!" Temari cried. But it was no use. It was a dead end. They could hear the rest of the guys running from all directions. They had lost.

As the girls started to drop their guns, Ino stamped her foot. "NO, GIRLS! WE MUST NOT GIVE UP NOW! FIGHT TO THE DEATH!"

TenTen put her hand on Ino's shoulder. Ino turned around. "No, Ino. We gave up as soon as we saw Sasuke." Ino looked down and dropped her gun. She had to admit, though, that it was a little worth seeing Sasuke naked.

--

"Good game, eh?" Naruto grinned and playfully punched Sasuke's shoulder. Sasuke put his pants back on and glared at Naruto, instantly making him withdraw with caution.

"I am going to _kill _you."

"Hey, it wasn't my idea! And they never even touched you, _Sasuke-kun_!" Naruto snickered. Sasuke kicked Naruto in the shin. "Ow! What did you do that for!?"

"What do you think, idiot?"

"Fuck you."

"Go fuck yourself."

"Dipshit."

"Fuckface."

"Okay, okay, enough!" Sakura stepped between the two of them. "It was a fun game," Sakura looked at Sasuke. "But remember it was only a _game." _

"Tell that to Shikamaru before he starts making all of us run around naked," muttered Sasuke.

"What?"

"I didn't say anything."

--

"…I can't believe we lost!" Temari cried. "Damn men…" _Damn naked Sasuke…_

The girls all sighed and drank their tea.

--

Sasuke put his keys back into his pocket and opened his apartment door. He slumped onto the couch and let a smile cross his lips. Even though he would rather die than tell Naruto this, but he really did enjoy it.

--

hope you all liked this sick twisted story. i had fun writing it.

please, give me feedback! i love hearing what you guys thought/think. (:


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